Swanky Fish and Chips.

Ingredients

2 Fillets of white fish (Cod, Coley, Hake – that kind of shit)

1 Jar of green pesto

4 tbspn olive oil

1 Small bag of rocket

Vine tomatoes (or baby ones)

Salt, Black Pepper, Chilli flakes

3 Large potatoes.

Bacon pieces (lard-ons) or if not – well cut up rashers of bacon.

Right – first off the bat – the chips.

None of your deep frying bollocks or any of that – this is healthy and they taste GREAT. They’ll get a woman wetter than an otters pocket too.

Cut up the potatoes (with a clean knife you caveman) into wedges. Put on a foiled baking tray and drizzle 2 tbspns of olive oil on top. Then salt and black pepper. (I have also added chilli flakes in the past, for some heat)

Stick the tray into a pre-heated over at 180c and leave the fuck alone for 25 mins – check them then and if not done check them every 10mins after that. They should come out crispy enough on the outside, golden in colour thanks to the oil and soft inside. If not, you’ve made a balls of it son.

Empty the lardons or bacon pieces into a pan and fry them up good until crispy enough. Take these off the pan and place on a plate with some kitchen roll on to drain the shite off them.

Cut up the tomatoes and mix them into the rocket – drizzle a little lemon juice and olive oil in there as well sure, you might as well hah?

Take the pan you fried the bacon on and place the white fish on top of it. Cook the fish for 30 seconds on top heat and carefully, CAREFULLY YOU FUCKING IDIOT, turn the fish over. Do the same with the other side then turn off the heat completely. The fish should cook through on the pan as it heats down.

To serve, place the fish in the centre of a clean plate, drizzle the green pesto on top of it and then gently dust the chilli flakes around the plate. This sounds really girly, but as you eat the fish, it picks up the odd bit of heat here and there and it’s fucking champion.

Stick the bacon into the salad and mix, serve on the plate alongside the fish and serve the chips either alongside that, or in a bowl, or whatever, fuck knows right?